Dance

I remember a friend telling me how he got people to take up dance: he would convince his female friends first, and they would pull their significant others to partner them. I’ve included a sample conversation illustrating how this Herculean task is accomplished.

Girl: Do you love me?
Guy: *groans in silence* Of course I do.
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Guy: *groans again, this time slightly more audible* But of course, my dear.
Girl: Good. I’m thinking of taking dance lessons and I need a partner…
Guy: *groans again, this time very audible* No!!! Not dance…
Girl: Didn’t you just say that you love me, and that you would do anything for me?
Guy: But, but, dancing…
Girl: I really want to go for classes, and I don’t want other guys touching me… I don’t think you would like that too…

At this point, it’s over. Any last-ditch resistance is for show only, and soon he will capitulate.

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I take a slightly different tact when convincing my friends.

H: Dude, grow a penis. Dancing is for faggots.
Me: Dude, there were twenty other girls in the room. I was the only guy. And you know how hot dancers are.
H: You are joking!
H: No I’m not.

One month later…

H: Hey Daniel, remember the other time you were telling me about dance? I was wondering if you could recommend a studio.

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I wonder if girls are turned off if they find out that some of the guys they are dancing with don’t exactly have the noblest of intentions. I remember a conversation with my dance partner.

Me: I’ve some friends who are interested in dance.
Rox: Oh really, that’s good! So hard to find such guys nowadays!
Me: Well, actually, I think they want to meet girls through dance.
Rox: What the heck… I can’t stand guys like that… We are there to dance not to be picked up!
Me: *cleverly remain silent*

Leadership in the Army

The manner of leadership in the army is appalling. Something expected of an organisation where rank takes precedence over all other things (including common sense and human decency) and where officers advance without necessarily learning proper management skills.

Yet officers who are weaned on such a rank crutch will soon find that forced compliance is superficial and, on many levels, useless and harmful. When thrust into a situation which requires them to motivate their subordinates, they first attempt, usually unsuccessfully, motivational platitudes (eg: we have the utmost trust in our NSFs, we care for our soldiers, etc), failing which they then fall back to using ranks and threats: I’m a Major so you better follow instructions, else I will charge you. Instead of trying to align the tasks at hands with either the short-term or long-term goals of the conscript, the officer forces the task onto him, making the conscript feel exploited and thus unwilling to work. This invariably leads to the conscript doing the bare-minimum to avoid punishment--- the quintessential lose-lose situation.

Some officers are under the misimpression that all NSFs are sloth-like and thus need to be forced to do work with implied threats. Yet this misses the point: the reason why NSFs put in minimal effort is precisely because they feel they are forced to work.

Consider a win-win situation, which can be constructed by providing the conscript incentives to produce good work, either in the form of rewards (privileges, offs, recognition, etc) or by engendering ownership among the NSFs. Such an ideal situation used to exist in my section--- in return for privileges like a flexible roster and additional off, NSFs produced exemplary work. Producing excellent work became a matter of personal pride and should work quality drop, it would be the NSFs themselves rather than the bosses who would root out the problem and solve it: for example, “slackers” were either ostracised or posted out (via political angling).

Sadly, that win-win situation and culture vanished with the arrival of our new CO. To his credit, our new CO is relatively visionary and seems to have a relative clear idea of where our unit is going. However, he is sorely lacking in implementation and inter-personal skills. He does not recognise that his new policies, some of which indeed progressive, are in sharp contrast with our office’s established working style and are thus viewed unfavourably. Qing Emperor Guangxu tried it with his Hundred Days’ Reform, JWW Birch tried it with his slavery reform: both neglected the environment around them and paid with their lives and freedom. While neither as extreme nor as severe, our CO is in a similar predicament.

This is compounded by him being a new addition to our office. He thus suffers from the perception of being the outsider who makes changes without first understanding our office. In addition, he does not realise that many of his policies are seen as giving us unnecessary, additional work and he has not chosen to justify them, possibly due to the top-down superiority syndrome (i.e. they are just NSFs).

However, unlike most offices where NSFs are menial slaves and are not essential (the officers could, but wouldn’t want to, make their own coffee or shred their own paper), in my office, NSFs do most of their officers’ work, and are indispensable (in fact, most of us wonder what our officers do, besides going for two hour lunch breaks and watching drama serials). Thus, it’s essential that NSF morale is kept high, for there’s a direct correlation between that and quality.

However, our CO does not seem to realise this: his recent policies seem to disregard the feelings of the NSFs and have not endeared him to us. His high-handed implementation style has further alienated him: for example, recently, he decreed that any conscript caught using MSN or playing online games would be charged. That raised the ire of those affected and as well as those who opposed it in principle and contributed to a sharp drop in morale.

Granted that most conscripts do not enjoy such benefits, which admittedly seem out of place in the military, that has been the established culture in our office, encouraged by one CO (he explicitly told us that we could do our own work once we were done with our office tasks, as long as they were well done) and tolerated by another. Even if our present CO felt that these activities were inimical to the smooth operation of our office and needed to be halted, he ought to have taken the time to understand the matter from our viewpoint, and subsequently proceeded from there; ultimately, the autocratic manner in which the diktat was imposed will only do more harm than good.

Furthermore, it seems he has not properly analysed the pros and cons of such a decision as well as possible effects. The main motivating factor for such a move seems to be the belief that such activities affect our work quality, but removal of these sources of entertainment will drive us to either seek other ways to pass time or to be less productive. Moreover, the morale hit that this latest move has incurred will invariably manifest itself in the reports we do, i.e. for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

As a unit, we have experienced great fortunes, with previous COs and officers enjoying rapid promotions and comfy jobs. That was in part due to our unit’s exemplary products, a result of the harmonious relations between the bosses and the NSFs; our new CO enjoys none of this, and when the day comes when he requires support from the ground, he will find none. He will reap what he sowed.

Riddle

A species that is hard to understand, difficult to predict and impossible to please?

Molten Chocolate Cake

Ah, tried my hand at making Molten Chocolate Cakes (aka Lava Cakes) using a recipe which Colin most helpfully provided on his blog.

Now, as much as the cake in the picture looked all right, maybe even delectable to some, I must confess that all that is due to Kok Heng, who saved the day by first creating a restaurant-like finish via adept usage of chocolate sauce, and by secondly framing it in the best possible light using all of his photo-taking techniques. (he is an award-winning photographer.)

All that glitters is not gold, and beneath its elegant exterior lies an overbaked chocolate core (the bane of all would-be-molten- chocolate-cake-bakers), a gastronomical sin tantamount to a cheese-less cheese cake or *shudder* melted ice-cream. We were supposed to get melted chocolate seeping out, not a solid black interior! Ah well, live and learn I guess.

Korea Korea Korea

I’m going to KOREA!!!

KOREA!!!

KOREA!!!

Now, the hard part begins, time to angle for unrecorded leave. As Kok Heng puts it,

Kok Heng: We don’t have to angle for it; we deserve it. SAF better give it to us because we are representing our *beloved* nation.

Well, he’s the expert, and if he got us unrecorded leave last year (to Taipei), he can do it again.

Really too happy for words, which explains the disjointedness of this post, but I’m too euphoric to care. A free vacation, two weeks of kimchi and a chance to make new overseas friends!

Lessons I learnt from last year’s Taiwan trip:

1) Don’t get involved in any summer flings! They are not worth it!
2) Being able to speak to the locals in their language is very important.
3) Bring along namecards.
4) Set a spending bar (tendency to go crazy when shopping).
5) Pack more clothes, but be sure to ensure excess luggage space.

Checklist of things to do before the trip:

1) Bug Kok Heng to teach me Learn Korean.
2) Shop for clothes. (ok, this is just an excuse, but whatever…)
3) Print namecards.
4) Finish the first draft of my university applications. (Early Decision)

Birthdays and Persians

I’ve rediscovered Civilization Three and these last few days have been spent trying to wage intercontinental wars and launch nuclear missiles without causing global warming. Today, when I was leading the immortal Persians against the rest of the world…

Military Adviser: Emperor Daniel, the Aztecs are massing troops on our eastern border. What are your orders?
Me: What’s the situation on the western front?
Military Adviser: My lord, our scouts report that the second Chinese expeditionary force has managed to link up with their initial army and is currently regrouping near Susa.
Domestic Advisor: The Satrap of Susa reports that morale of the people is low due to repeated drafting and loss of lives due to construction of walls and moats.
Me: What’s the status of my Immortal squadron? What is their estimated time of arrival?
Military Advisor: We…

However, my quest for global domination was rudely halted. By a carrier pigeon? By a palace coup? Nay: I was interrupted by my mother who had called me from Taiwan to enquire about her son’s health. Now, to cut a long story short, after I put down the phone and got back to plotting the demise of those two civilizations, I was again rudely interrupted by my father who reminded me that it was my mother’s birthday today, and that my mother was hurt by my apparent amnesia. To cut a long story short, what ensued was a new round of long-distance calls, frantic family members and Persia nearly being caught in a pincer attack.

I wonder if I can be considered an ingrate. My mother spends the whole week worrying about my health (I’ve been sick for a week) and I forget her birthday. And I’m more worried about Susa falling to the Chinese.

Well, I certainly do know what I would call myself if I forgot my son’s birthday. An idiot, not for forgetting his birthday, but for having a son. Now, I’m quite opposed to children, and I’m particularly against sons. Sons are useless, and will probably run around the house pretending to be Persian Immortals or great conquerors. Not to mention they forget birthdays.

Addenum: I managed to stave off the Chinese invasion. They chose a long march through the mountains thinking that they would be safe from my Immortals, to which I responded with concentrated catapult fire. At the same time, I attacked the Chinese landing ships, thereby depriving their land forces of immediate and future reinforcements. The Aztec invasion didn’t materialize: I figure they were trying to capitalize on my conflict and thus retreated when I routed the Chinese army. Damn Aztecs, you will taste Persian steel soon.