University Application

If there’s one university application question that’s incredibly irritating yet unbelievably ubiquitous, it's “Tell us why you want to study at xxx College/University.” Not only is it narcissistic, it’s almost bound to elicit a stock answer thus making it rather redundant. But have no fear, I’m here to provide you with different answers that are almost certain to be efficacious…

Brown:

“It’s my favourite colour”

Harvard:

“For one, I heard students get incredible support from the faculty. Wait a minute, I’m in Cambridge, Cambridgeshire right”

Oxford:

“Two words: Emma Watson”
“It’s my dream to study at Hogwarts… opps, I mean Oxford”

Princeton:

“Because I don’t want to be taught by TAs and I want to be able to walk out of campus without being stabbed”
“Social life ought to be good. After all, Princeton’s school mascot is a pussy”

Yale:

“Because Harvard Sucks and Princeton doesn’t matter”
“I’m gay” (Disclaimer): I’m STRAIGHT. This is not something I would use!

Of course, efficacious only if you want a particular outcome …