Drivel

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Winter

I was chatting with Janice yesterday, and since, as of two days ago, I official became part anglophile, I saw it fit to talk about the weather (in Taipei, where I’m currently on vacation).

Me: Terrible weather here. Really terrible.
Janice: Oh really? How so?
Me: Freezing cold here. You won’t believe how cold it is.
Janice: Better wear more warm clothing then. Is it snowing?
Me: It’s 15 degrees.
Janice: …
Janice: 15 degrees?
Me: Yes, mightily cold don’t you think?
Janice: Daniel, in America, we go jogging in shorts in 15 degrees.

An affront to my manhood, a veritable affront, she has committed! To redeem my pride, I shall go streaking around Taipei. If I should die of Pneumonia or get executed for indecent exposure, I shall come back and haunt her while wearing a red overcoat!!!
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Just kidding… I won’t wear red – white goes better with my skin.

PS: As with most conversations quoted on my blog, probably only 50% of it is accurate. I have a bad memory.

Domestication

Of late, as my nearest and dearest and generally anyone within audible range can attest, I’m fallen in love with Pride and Prejudice. Not to mention Keira Knightly. Thus, when Focus Features remade my all-time favorite romance novel and cast my all-time favorite female actress in it, it was hardly surprising that it turned me into a slobbering, waxing lyrical fan boy.

In fact, I’ve decided to name my first-born, if she happens to be female, Elizabeth. Of course, this presupposes I overcoming my intense hatred for children, but considering that up till early last year, I was still actively contemplating eternal singlehood, I think there’s a high chance of that happening.

One more step down the slippery slope of domestication…

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

University Application

If there’s one university application question that’s incredibly irritating yet unbelievably ubiquitous, it's “Tell us why you want to study at xxx College/University.” Not only is it narcissistic, it’s almost bound to elicit a stock answer thus making it rather redundant. But have no fear, I’m here to provide you with different answers that are almost certain to be efficacious…

Brown:

“It’s my favourite colour”

Harvard:

“For one, I heard students get incredible support from the faculty. Wait a minute, I’m in Cambridge, Cambridgeshire right”

Oxford:

“Two words: Emma Watson”
“It’s my dream to study at Hogwarts… opps, I mean Oxford”

Princeton:

“Because I don’t want to be taught by TAs and I want to be able to walk out of campus without being stabbed”
“Social life ought to be good. After all, Princeton’s school mascot is a pussy”

Yale:

“Because Harvard Sucks and Princeton doesn’t matter”
“I’m gay” (Disclaimer): I’m STRAIGHT. This is not something I would use!

Of course, efficacious only if you want a particular outcome …