Infatuation

I had an interesting conversation with Sheng Quan yesterday, during which he commented,

“You seem to like girls that you admire.”

I think that explains why I was so obsessed over her. Back then, I placed her on a pedestal, and imagined her to be everything I wanted. To me she could do no wrong--- she was the personification of perfection, the embodiment of excellence.

I idolised her to the extent of hero worship; I was infatuated.

And now?

I still like her, but I no longer think she’s flawless. Perhaps someday I will have the opportunity to get to know her better, to like her for who she is and not who I imagine her to be.

The Queen by Pablo Neruda

I have appointed you Queen.
There are those more slender than you, more slender.
There are those purer than you, purer.
There are those fairer than you, fairer.

But you are the Queen.

When you go through the streets
no one recognizes you.
No one sees your crystal crown, no one looks
at the carpet of red gold
that you tread as you pass,
the nonexistent carpet

And when you appear
all the river sound
in my body, bells
shake the sky,
and a hymn fills the world.

Only you and I,
only you and I, my love,
listen to it.

I think it summarises my feelings rather accurately.