Bitching Tutor Wanted

This goes out to all girls: I’m in need of a tutor who can teach me how to bitch. Preference will be given to applicants who specialise in the following subjects: NS, dumb blonds and George Bush. In addition, it is best if you are not easily offended, for my last tutor got a little pissed when I started bitching about her during our lesson. What a bitch!

My current standard (while watching The Simple Life):

Me: I can’t believe Paris Hilton is so dumb!
Friend: Blah blah blah
Me: Yeah, she’s worse than dumb. She’s um.. ummmm.. ummmmmm.. very dumb.
Friend: Yakety Yak Yak
Me: Yeah, pathetically dumb!

If you are interested, please contact me at guywhocannotbitchfornuts@hotmail.com. Please attach an audio recording of one of your bitching session, and I will get back to you if you are hired. If not, don’t worry; as a consolation, I’ll bitch about you. Thank you for reading this post, and please don’t bitch about me.