Time Tempers Us All

I had a dream today. I was married with a cute and petite daughter, a cosy family of three.

One year ago I would have broken out in cold sweat; today I smiled in warm anticipation.

Hindsight

Everything I did defied common logic and rationality…
Everything I did was unjustifiable in terms of opportunity cost…
Everything I did could be regarded as foolish by the general populace…

But even if given another chance, I wouldn’t have it any other way…

Facades

Over the past few months, I have, both accidentally and intentionally, built up an office image of being lewd.

I sometimes wonder what they will think if they know that while I don’t disapprove of fornication or other sexual activities, I won’t engage in them unless I’m quite sure I’ll marry my partner (and await the inevitable brats). Or that I still reproach myself for looking at her friend exactly 102 days ago. Sigh, it wasn't just an egregious faux pas; it was an immoral act of wretchedness. I guess it's all irrelevant now, although I do wish I had a chance to apologise in person.

I don’t write this with annoyance but rather with detached amusement at how society can so easily mistake a façade for one’s true personality.

Cooking Post Mortem (Session Two)

Chef: Colin
Apprentices: Tuck Chen, Me
Dish: Pasta Primavera with Smoky Ham

Things Learnt:

1) Testing for correct consistency of the pasta sauce is done by checking if it coats the back of a batter spoon. Drip sauce over a wooden spoon and, using a sharp object, scrap a line through. If the sauce does not cover the exposed region, correct consistency has been reached.

2) Thickening of a sauce can be achieved by addition of corn starch or egg yolk. While heating can thicken as well, it has the undesirable effect of evaporating so much liquid that there’s very little sauce left. For pasta, egg yolk is preferable as a thickening agent, as it blends well with egg-based nature of pasta as compared to corn starch. (by the same logic, egg yolk would not be suitable to thicken a soup.)

3) The proper way to thicken via an egg yolk is to first beat the egg, and then add a small amount of the sauce to the egg. Addition of the egg to the hot sauce would lead to it curdling immediately; thus, we slowly add the sauce to the egg to allow it to slowly increase in temperature to avoid curdling. Continue doing this (in batches), and stir in the egg mixture to the sauce after it has been removed from heat. A similar approach is used when making Bernaise sauce.

4) A recipe should not be followed whole-sale: for example, if the recipe calls for a cup of chicken broth, add half a cup first, and add more if required. Being flexibility is important, as “cooking is not an exact science (an oft-repeated quote by Chef Liew).” For example, the dijon mustard that we used yesterday was stronger than usual, and thus we diluted the sauce by adding more cream and chicken broth than called for. This led to the sauce becoming too thin, and an egg yolk was added.

5) Cutting food into pieces reduces cooking time--- increased surface area. Thus, when clarifying butter, chop it up first to melt it quickly. This also means that increasing the size of the asparagus rounds increases the time required to cook it--- useful when cooking asparagus since the stem takes a longer time to cook then the spears. Also note that when cooking stems and spears, add the stems first.

6) Sugar can be used to temper sauces with too strong flavours--- eg: the tang of strong dijon mustard.

Universities

Just when I thought I had settled on my university choices, new factors come into play. I was originally supposed to read Business and Engineering, but I had decided that I would try to convince my sponsoring company to allow me to drop Engineering for Business. (I’ll be involved in procurement and won’t serve a single day as an engineer.)

Then the choices would have been simple (in no order of merit or choice)

Columbia Economics
Stern Finance
Wharton Finance

However, Aileen was telling me that EDB may not be as receptive as I thought to the idea of dropping Engineering. Sigh, I hope not, for I certainly don’t wish to drop Business for Engineering.

And I wonder if I will enjoy NY as much as I thought I would. I’ve always imagined staying in NY (studying, working, etc) for a while, and I still want to, but it appears that it’s really costly to actually live in NY (especially as a student). A loaf of breaf costs $5 USD!! Oh man, I can't imagine living three years in the world's most vibrant and cosmopolitan city as a beggar. Decisions, decisions, decisions!!

Thank You

Thank you for being so kind, even till the last moment. You were the first person I truly liked, and indeed I now know for sure that I have not loved the wrong person, even if nothing did come out of it. You shaped my views on relationships in ways I never thought possible, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I certainly wish that there won’t be awkwardness between the two of us, for I really want to keep this friendship.

I believe that when relationships are concerned, everything is preordained. God has his own plans, and he has arranged a special someone for everyone. If we are destined, then somehow, somewhere, sometime, we shall meet again, this time under more felicitous conditions. If not, I trust that the Lord has other plans, and I can only hope that both of us each find our special someone.

Lord, give me the strength to recognise that you have made plans for me, and that I only need to place trust in you. Amen.

The Three Tenors

Today, my office witnessed the emergence of a new singing sensation, a group of three males who for posterity sakes shall be christened The Three Tenors. As with most great findings, the group's discovery was most fortuitous.

Chin Wui was remarking that of late, he had been hooked onto a rather cute song entitled Mr Lonely. And at that very instant, Ian and I shouted, (the very same words, I kid you not) “You listen to that song as weeeeelllll?”

What followed was a most torturous aural experience for the poor souls within a fifty mile radius:

Chin Wui: I'm so lonely
Chin Wui and Ian: I’m Mr. Lonely
Ian and me: I have nobody
All three (harmonising): For my owwwwwnnnnn!!

Herein the power of synergy: individually each of us sounds like a screeching cat whose tail has been stepped on; but collectively, ah, that's a different story. Collectively we sound like a group of screeching cats whose tails have been stepped on.

Alter-Egos

Disclaimer: I do NOT actually hear voices.

I was preparing for Physics tuition when she came online. I hesitated for a while, and turned to my textbook, deciding that it was all for the best when I was accosted by a rather rude alter-ego.

Inner Daniel: What in the world are you doing? Talk to her!
Me: Would you please stop popping into my head without first knocking? It’s alarming, and rude.
Inner Daniel: Yeah yeah, whatever. Next you will be asking me to bring a door-gift.
Me: …
Inner Daniel: Anyway, come on, talk to her.
Me: Nah, she just came online. If I talk to her now, it seems so desperate, like I’m waiting specially for her.
Inner Daniel: Here’s an update: YOU ARE!
Me: No I’m not! I’m revising Physics. She does not come into the equation at all.
Inner Daniel: Yeah yeah, whatever. Maybe you refuse to admit it, but subconsciously, you just want to find out how she has been and whether she’s okay.
Me: And how would you know, Mr Alter-ego who’s just a voice?
Inner Daniel: Simple, I’m your subconscious remember.
Me: …
Inner Daniel: And I’m no longer just a voice now. The alter-egos of the world held this huge convention in Geneva recently, and we decided that it was demeaning for us to be heard and not seen. And I actually met the alter-egos of some of your friends.
Me: I'm sure you did. Anyway, you mean all the alter-egos in the world attended this convention, and agreed that from now on, alter-egos will be seen and heard?
Inner Daniel: Well not all came. There were a couple of old fogies who disagreed with our views. They refused to come and wanted to vote by telepathy. Wanted to be heard and not seen. We simply disregarded their votes.
Me: How transparent.
Inner Daniel: Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway, it’s time to unveil my new look. When I just want to look casual, for those occasions when I’m just cruising along…

[There’s a puff of smoke and a hazy human silhouette can be seen]

Me: What the? Tom Cruise?!
Inner Daniel: Yeah, anything wrong?
Me: Duh, my alter-ego is now the living twin of Tom Cruise.
Inner Daniel: All right already. How about this? When I want a little more depth…

[There’s a puff of smoke and a hazy human silhouette can be seen]

Me: Johnny Depp?! Oh for goodness sakes…
Inner Daniel: There isn’t any pleasing you, is there? One last try. When I’m pitting with someone else…

[You know the drill]

Me: Brad Pitt?! Would you stop with these celebrities, and the bad puns?
Inner Daniel: Yeah yeah, whatever.

[Morphs to become a twin of me]

Me: How in the world do you just morph around?
Inner Daniel: It’s all about imagining the possibilities. After all, I’m just a figment of your imagination. Anyway, it has been five minutes since she came online. You no longer have an excuse. Talk to her!
Me: Nah I shouldn’t. I mean she has exams now and I’ll simply be disturbing her.
Inner Daniel: All right. Then wish her good luck for her exams then.
Me: I already did that last week. It’ll be so obvious I’m trying to chat her up.
Inner Daniel: Do you know what your problem is? You are too worried about what she thinks of you.
Me: I just can’t help it. I don’t know why. And it’s really weird: I can give presentations to principals and teachers, sell to prospective students and parents, chat normally to girls, but the moment I see her, I get all tongue-tied.
Inner Daniel: See what happens when you like someone too much? You become way too nervous.
Inner Daniel: Anyway, I don’t think there’s any chance that you’ll talk to her today, so I’m calling it a day. I’ve got a date, so tata~!.
Me: …

[A puff of smoke erupts, and a girl appears]

Inner Daniel: Daniel, meet Inner xxxxxxx. See, I wasn't lying right.
Inner xxxxxxx: Charmed I’m sure.
Me: Uh uh.. howdy.. umm.. I mean hello.
Inner xxxxxxx: Relax, don’t get so tongue-tied. I’m just an astral projection.
Inner Daniel: Hate to break up the party but we’re late.
Me: Late? If you guys can zip across continents in a flash, why is time even a factor?
Inner Daniel: Well, true, but ah well… Anyway, I’ll see you later. We are going to attend the premiere of Interview with an Alter-ego.
Me: Interview with an Alter-ego?
Inner Daniel: Yes, it’s this play about humans who pretend to be alter-egos.
Me: And these human roles are acted by alter-egos who are essentially pretending to be humans?
Inner Daniel: Yes, isn’t it so avant-garde?
Me: Figures.

[The two disappear in a puff of smoke]

Me: Maybe I should wish her good luck for her exams. After all, Inner Daniel seems to know his stuff.

[I look at the screen and realise that she has gone offline]

Me: How unfortunate. Ah well…

Que Sera Sera

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my heart
What lies ahead

Will I have the chance to hold her in tender embrace?
Will I have the chance to lend a shoulder when she’s down?
Will I have the chance to gaze at stars with her by my side?
Will I have the chance to look and be captivated by her winsome countenance?
Will I have the chance to love her?

Here's what my heart said

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not yours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

Shopping

I shop like a girl. I tell myself exactly what I’m looking for, and at the end of the trip, I’ve buy everything but the original item I came for. Two weeks ago I went shopping for a pair of shoes and wound up with a Topman shirt. Today I intended to buy a pair of white pants but I ended up purchasing a shirt from Dockers.

Sigh, I remember saying last month that I will stop splurging on clothes once I buy a pair of pants; thus far, I’ve gotten four shirts but nothing below the waist.

I swear it’s a curse. I think I shall set out to buy a shirt the next time I go shopping. Maybe this time I’ll end up with something to cover either my loins or my feet.

Sentimentality, Sex and Brats

I’ve recently discovered that I’m not the only romance-movie aficionado in my office; apparently Ming De is an avid fan of such works as well. And while we were discussing the aptness of romance and sentimentality in males, we stumbled upon a sad truth:

Ming De: You realise that we (sentimental guys) are losing out on at least 10 years worth of nights of wild and uncontrollable sex.
Me: Damn it.
Ming De: Sigh, we probably will have to wait until we get married for that experience.
Me: I don’t think so. You don’t get great, borderline illegal sex in marriage.
Ming De: Eh?
Me: You get irritating, borderline illegal brats.
Ming De: Well, at least the nights will be wild and uncontrollable.
Me: In a painful way, yes.

IQ Tests

I just took an IQ test and I do not fall into the Genius or Gifted category: I’m merely above average. Damn, why didn’t God give me less compassion and more intelligence? And to think that I was only going to murder two cats and strangle a chicken tonight; just for that, I’ll maim a dog if I see one.

In particular, the test identified Spatial and Verbal abilities as my weakest links. Darn, and I had my heart set on the Nobel and Pulitzer prizes.

Innate Gifts

I think I have an innate gift for hinting. Why every time I hint, the intended recipient gets my message.

Like the last time I wanted new shoes because I wore out my old pair, I hinted,

“I need new shoes because I wore out my old pair.”

And my parents got the idea.

Isn’t that testament to my hinting abilities? Also, I don’t understand why my friends persist in criticising my lack of subtility.

“Subtility isn’t one of your strengths.”

“Oh really? Decision-making as well.”

“Eh?”

“Yes, I can’t quite decide if I should feed you to the lions or throw you into the crocodile-infested moat.”

I think I have an innate gift for subtility as well.

Verbal Checkmate

My sister and I had this conversation over MSN today.

“Face it, you are obsessed. I mean your entire blog is about her.”

“That’s not true. Only 20-30% of my posts are about her. The majority of them are about cooking and dancing.”

“Uh huh, and the reason you dance and cook?”

Damn! I hate it when I’m verbally checkmated.

Pensive Thoughts

What will happen if you know of my feelings for you? What will happen then if I know you know, and you know that I know you know?

When we meet again, will we skirt the issue by asking each other mundane questions? Will we both feign ignorance, you of my feelings, and I of your knowledge?

Will it be as if I sent you a letter, and the next time we see each other, I act like I never penned it, and you like you never read it.

Oh, what tangled webs I weave, when I first practice to love.

Bigmouths

Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a bigmouth.

Heartfelt Words

“…for the first time in my life, I realise that flings are the refuge of those who have yet to meet their right person…”

“…did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night….”

“… I wish I could have the opportunity to love you, to share your woes and to laugh and cry with you…”

Meant it then, mean it still…

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light
Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I , Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not nor man's emptly praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou are
High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all